"An enemy stabs you in the back, but a friend stabs you in the chest."

I've never thought about friendship like this before, but when I first heard this said last week, I instantly realized how true it is! The closest friends I have are the ones who have "hurt" me the most. They are the ones who aren't afraid to stir me up out of my comfortable mind-set and set the truth before me, as painful as it may be. My best friends are the ones who are constantly seeking to see me grow in Jesus Christ and are objective and aggressive in pushing me along toward this goal.

As Pastor York was expounding upon the friendship and intimacy we have with Jesus Christ, I began to realize how many Christ-like examples God has placed in my own life. My parents are probably the chiefest example. Parents are intimidating to young children, especially parents with the disciplinary hand bearing the wooden paddle. But while my parents never hesitated to spank and discipline me when I needed it, they were never afraid or ashamed to call me their friend. Even more so now, I know for a fact that I am a friend of my parents.

My father was never afraid to spank me as a child. He was never afraid to "stab me in the chest" and tell me of my need for Jesus Christ. He was never timid in sitting me down as young teenager and telling me where my sinful life was leading me. And no one was ever more overjoyed than my parents in seeing my life slowly and gradually change as I walked with Jesus Christ. I can think of many more examples in my life of such people. My siblings especially come to mind as well. 

During our discussion groups at the winter conference, I noticed how a lot of the girls felt they could not talk to their families about everything, that they felt more comfortable speaking openly within an accountability group among Christian friends. While I see nothing wrong with being open and confident with friends and Christian groups, it surprised me was that none of the councilors (as far as I could tell) really encouraged any of the girls to seek a closer relationship with the immediate members of their families! I understand, not every Christian teenager is in a Christian home or in an ideal situation with their family. I know for a fact that difficult times of spiritual struggle can set in and make it really hard to communicate with your family. But at the same time, I could not help but feel that this was a point of deficiency.

For one, I don't know anyone outside of my family who I could possibly be more open or honest with than the people within my family. I can't take any pride in this fact, since I know that it is all Christ's doing, that Christ is the one who has brought us all together and is continuing to bring us together. Also, I have been blessed by Jesus with amazingly open and honest siblings who won't take anything but the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth from me and will give back the same in return.

And then the more I thought about my family and my closest friends I, the more I noticed a certain pattern among all of them. All of my closest friends are the ones who come to me first. I am never friends with anyone unless I am sought out by then. Pastor York made a point of how self-focused we as humans are. This really struck me. How often do I overlook someone's need and fail to be a friend as Christ would be a friend simply because I am the one expecting everyone else to be a friend to me first? How more unlike Christ can I get?

One of the first sermons I ever heard preached by Pastor Bailey was an overview of all the Gospels. This was not the main point of the sermon, but it stuck with me forever. Pastor Bailey summarized the Gospel of Matthew (at least, I think it was this one) with these words, "Jesus loves who you hate." Ouch. 

If Jesus loves who I hate...and I'm supposed to be a "little Christ"...what does this mean for me? 

At first, it's easy to let myself off the hook. Well, I don't really hate anyone, do I? But I don't have to go far before I can think of several people who I sincerely dislike, people who really annoy me or even mildly annoy me, people I get really angry with at times, even if I don't show it. Too often I walk away from the Gospel of Matthew, likening myself to the sinners Christ affiliated with (though we are, no doubt sinners) and not realizing that I am probably more like the Pharisees than anyone else within the Gospel.

When I liken myself to the Pharisees, suddenly everything becomes much more clearer as to what it is I am to do in my life and what areas I need to repent in.

Christ is never going to go easy on me. He's our real friend. He's never going to let me off the hook. And the truth is, He loves who we hate. He's closest friends with the people who tick us off, the ones we don't want to be around. And He's called us to go and do likewise, to go and be friends with the people we hate. I'm not sure I know how to do this. I'm not sure I've ever been a true friend beyond friendliness to anyone. But I'm sincerely praying that Christ teaches me how to do this, to be more objective and Christ-like in all my friendships.

Thanks be to God, I have the best friend who is always willing to stab me in the chest with the truth...Jesus Christ. May His Word be more painful and effective every single day.